It has been said that:” friends are the ‘family’ you can choose to love.“
I think that is a great way to describe true friends. In times of joy and in times of trouble, and all the times in-between, good friends are an essential part of making life easier, better, more successful, more fun, and definitely more interesting. So #10 in my things to be happy about series is…friends.
Now, with Covid 19 we have had to alter the way we connect with our friends. Every day I’m on the telephone or Google DUO checking in. But nothing takes the place of in-person interactions with people who you care about and who care about you.
“…But yah got to have friends
The feeling’s oh so strong
Yah got to have friends
To make that day last long
I had some friends but they’re gone
Somethin’ came and took them away
And from the dusk ’til the dawn
aHere is where I’ll stay…”
From Friends, Bette Midler
No One Is an Island:
In 2010 I included Val Walker’s book “The Art of Comforting” – Read my review in a book review roundup. Her newest book “400 Friends and No One to Call” (read my review) is a personal account of the author’s struggle to stop isolating herself.
Although Val had tons of acquaintances, in a pinch, she couldn’t find a friend to help her get home from the hospital.
No one should be that isolated. A real friend will do whatever it takes to help.
Real Friends Don’t Backstab:
Perhaps you have experienced a friendship gone sour. If the relationship is a good one, a friend should celebrate your joys and comfort you when you are down.
They aren’t jealous of your success. They don’t go behind your back to further their own gain (e.g. start dating your ex)
If you have a strong bond, you won’t lie to each other. You understand and celebrate your differences.
Video Can’t Take the Place…
Recently, I hosted a cocktail hour with two of my friends. One of them is very COVID 19 risk-averse, but she came out to visit with her dog. The other is also a bit COVID 19 risk-averse, but she came anyway.
I’ve been on the phone with both these people for weeks, and it’s been nice. But seeing them in person again was so much better.
We sat about 6 feet apart on my front deck. As the hours passed we drank, ate, laughed, it was the first time I felt “normal” in such a long time.
After they left, I felt as if a weight had been lifting. Having these wonderful people nearby instead of on text, phone or video chat is a totally different experience that no computer screen or phone can duplicate.
I have plenty of acquaintances, but a handful of people in my life that are much more than that. They’re my second family. My second sisters and brothers from other mothers. I’ve had one dear friend in my life since I was 6 years old!
These are the people that I love and trust, and that I can count on and I know they feel the same about me.
Unlike the lyrics in Bette’s song, Somethin’ hasn’t come to take my friends away, even though we aren’t able to hug, or shop together, or enjoy a meal.
As a New Yorker, I have no idea when or if life is going to get back to anything near normal. But the one thing I can count on, is my friends and still here for me now, and will be there when the Coronavirus is o.v.e.r.!