If you’re reading this and thinking “am I the only one not feeling the holiday cheer?” Fear not, you’re definitely not alone.
You are in good company with millions of people who simply wish the near year was already beginning.
Part of the reason is that advertisers and media flood our vision of what “the holiday season” should be like. They want you to believe that everyone is “merry & bright” from Thanksgiving through New Years Eve.
You can’t escape advertisements of family gatherings of families that simply adore each other (no cranky kids, or disappointing presents).
It appears that everyone is dressed to the nines and attending black tie soirees where the champagne freely flows, and everyone is laughing and having the time of their lives.
For most people, those family gatherings are the cause of conflict (whose house are we going to this year)? Or the long commute to “grandma’s house is exhausting and wears on that last nerve.
For those who don’t have extra income or maybe even a job, for those without family, or who are stuck far away from loved ones, for those who have suffered great loses, the holidays can make you feel anything but “merry & bright.”
Yes, there really are some adults who think the holidays are truly the “best time of the year.” They prepare for it, for months and nothing dampens their holiday spirit.
Festivus for the RestOfUs:
I always feel a bit left out when I see scenes of holiday parties that rival anything that happened at Versailles and I’m not “on the list.”
The reality is that I dont’ know anyone who actually goes to these super high end soirees. As a writer, the few times I’ve actually been at an event that required an evening gown, it was so boring I would have rather been home eating take-out with my cats!
Consider yourself lucky if you’re with people you love, even if you’re just eating dip and chips.
There comes a time in life where you don’t need one more thing, and neither do your adult friends and family.
But the holidays are a time for gifting.
Walk down any main street and gawk at the glittering windows featuring opulent displays of jewelry, handbags, gowns, furs and plenty of things that celebrities wives get, but you probably won’t. I
When you see the advertisements suggesting that a $50,000 bracelet would make a great gift, I’m sure, it would. Same with the giant red bow atop a fancy car. But this is all for the cameras, unless you actually happen to be mega-rich or an “associate” of an oil magnate.
If shopping stresses you out, just don’t do it. Guy online and have the store send your gift, wrapped and ready to open.
I used to spend hours shopping for the perfect gifts, and then spent even more hours wrapping them, only to have those wrapping thrown away almost instantly.
Only the children get presents. The adults will get home-made goodies they can enjoy and not throw in a closet or wait on line to return. Cookies or candy in a pretty box work just as well.
Maybe you have nowhere to go, or you are away on business, or worse, at the airport. Maybe you don’t have the money to make it home this year.
Think about people who have broken up right before the holidays or those who simply can’t get out at all?
If you fit into one of these categories, you can still beat the holiday blues. Here are some ways to handle being alone at holiday time:
Create A Happy Environment:
Happy things to look at really do a lot to make you feel good.
Whatever it is, make it work for you. Decorate even if no one sees your effort but you and the dog.
Play music, do yoga, ride a bike, take a hike…whatever you’re into, do more of it!I
I like the aromatherapy benefits of scented candles,. and out of season flowers.
Party In Your Own Place:
Good memories are the way we keep loved ones who have passed on, alive. If you start to feel sad that someone is gone, try remembering something wonderful about them,
Your loved ones will live forever, as long as you remember them in happy memories!
Food for the Soul:
Not everyone likes cooking, but the scent of fresh bread or cookies, or a holiday cake, or fragrant soup really does lift the spirit.
If cooking isn’t your thing, order in the things you love. You don’t have to have turkey on Thanksgiving or a holiday roast, just because that’s what your family always did. Make your own tradition.
Even if the idea of attending a “singles events” make your knees weak, consider it for the holidays. You don’t have to be looking for a romantic partner to share in the holiday spirit with others who want to share the day with others.
These events offer companionship, conversation and something to do. f nothing else, everyone there is in the same boat…and grateful for your company.
However, if you do want romance, you might just find a new love–maybe just in time for the new year!
Definite plans are comforting and empowering.
If you are alone, try to pre-arrange calls with family and friends..it will give you (and them) something to look forward to.
Computers and smart phones keep you constantly connected, so call, text, tweet,Facetime, etc.
I don’t recommend reaching out on the net if you are really depressed, but no matter where you are in the world, people are looking to chat and connect. I think that’s particularly true around the holidays.
You already know that there are scams and not everyone is who they say they are. Emotionally upset people are especially vulnerable to predators so never reveal personal information or intimate feelings.
Each day is just 24 hours long — and then it’s over! Sad thoughts feel like they’re here forever, but actually, they are fleeting.
For most people simply substituting a bad thought for a happy is an effective way to banish the blues but if you feel things won’t ever get better, please ask for help. You DO deserve it!
To find help immediately, do an online search (e.g. “crisis hotline”) or check the phone book. I want your new year to start out well, and end, even better!
Promise yourself that next year things will be different. If you feel “stuck” and want 2012 to be better, Enlist someone to help you to reach your goals.
Did this post give you a new perspective on the holiday season or make you at least feel a little better? Glad to hear it. Please comment, re–share, etc.