Many adults approach the holiday season with a mixture of excitement but also dread. The past year has been tough for many people for so many reasons. Perhaps lack of funds, the Pandemic, inability to travel, stressed relationships, career issues, and more are dimming your “holiday spirit.” I hope this updated version of How to Handle the Holidays Without So Much Stress, will help.
Reality Check:
your family memories may differ
If you’re still worrying about Covid and trying to avoid people, holiday gatherings and parties are a no-go. Since travel is also restricted, it might be disappointing not to attend the large annual family gathering at “grandma’s house.” Considering that many if not most family gatherings are the cause of conflict, maybe this is not the worst thing that can happen. After all, the tiffs over whose house to go to and whether or not it is still viable to afford all those holiday gifts for the entire family are lessened if not eliminated.
Festivus FOMO:
hey, we’re having so much FUN!
I have a friend who truly believes that the holiday season is the best time of the year. She prepares for it months in advance. Nothing dampens her holiday spirit. Children love the holidays because they have no responsibilities. Adults, not so much!
Do you have that FOMO (fear of missing out) feeling? You are not alone. We see all these photos on social media showing bunches of “fun-loving” people at super-chic gatherings. These images might make you wonder why your world isn’t so fabulous.
Keep in mind that plenty of these soirees are “on command” invitations. The actual parties are so boring you’d rather be home eating take-out with your dog (or cat, or budgie). Consider yourself lucky if you can have some fun time with people you love, even if you’re just eating dip and chips. Just remember, all that faux “joy” is just for the cameras.
And as to the office party. It’s never really “fun.” You’re projecting an image of your best self if you’re smart. Which means, no carousing and drinking. In fact, an office party is actually work (Read: Oh crap! I drank too much at the office party last night.
Shop ‘Til You Drop??
here is your luxury yacht.
There comes a time in life where you don’t need anything. But expectations rise high when the holidays arrive. Advertisers will put the idea in your head that gifts have to be opulent and expensive. But most people are not getting their “caviar dreams” met.
Luxury means something different to everyone. And furthermore, why not make it a new rule that only the kids under 18 get presents? If you can’t show up empty-handed bring homemade goodies they can enjoy and not throw in a closet or wait online to return. Cookies or candy in a pretty box work just as well.
If shopping stresses you out or you’re still too Coronavirus cautious to be with others, just don’t do it. Shop online and have the store send your gift, wrapped and ready to open.
Seriously, we can also do our part for the planet by ditching the complicated wraps and bows. They are just going to be thrown out anyway.
Ads That Make Us Sad:
Oh Goody!!
Advertisers want you to buy buy buy! The harangue of television ads and constant holidays tunes starts in October and doesn’t end until early January. The message is that you must give gifts, and they’d better be great,
A long time ago I spent some time as a management trainee in a big department store. During the holiday time, we helped out at the register. At the last minute, people literally were grabbing anything they could just to get something to give. These hastily purchased gifts are not just disappointing, to add insult to injury people will spend hours on the return line. Advertisers want you to live up to their fake vision of what “the holiday season” should be like. Re-read the section above “Shop Til You Drop” and don’t fall for intimidating advertisers.
Joy At Home:
Feeling blue? There are ways to turn that around
In every season, there are plenty of ways to make you feel better. You’ll get some great tips by reading the advicesisters.com classic “The Gratitude Jar.”
Physical things can really do plenty to make you feel good too. I like the aromatherapy benefits of scented candles. and out of season flowers. I enjoy the annual ritual of lighting a menorah. I’ll put it up early. I will also add some holiday decorations even if no one sees my effort but my cats.
holidays are full of rituals
Plan Ahead:
If you truly feel sad, keep in mind that all holidays are just a small part of the year. Most last just 24 hours and then they’re over.
But having definite plans is comforting and empowering. If you are alone, pre-arrange calls times (or zoom/Facetime etc.) with family and friends. This will give them, and you, something to look forward to.
Caution! Don’t reach out on the internet in a public way if you are upset. Sadly, there are predators and scammers and emotionally upset people are especially vulnerable. If you are in some sort of public forum (e.g. Clubhouse) don’t reveal personal information or intimate feelings.
Get Advice:
Sad thoughts feel like they’re here forever, but actually, they are fleeting. If you feel things won’t ever get better, please ask for help. You DO deserve it. To find help immediately, do an online search (e.g. “crisis hotline”). I want your new year to start out well, and end, even better!
Promise yourself that next year things will be different. If you can think it you can say it, and if you say it you can do it…and you will!
