Every year I publish a feature about what is real love and do you have it? On my dating and relationship website Leather and Lace Advice leatherandlaceadvice.com we get letters all the time from people who want to know if they are truly in love, or loved by someone. We do our best to put things in perspective and to ease their angst. But really, what is “true love?”
Definition of Real Love:
“Love” is ultimately caring for and caring about another person. Love is ultimately the desire to be with and around that person.
True love is unconditional love. It may be the love of a mother for her child, but can you have true love for another person who isn’t in your family?
I used to think so, but now I’m not so sure.
You can have real love for someone even if it’s not completely unconditional. That kind of love is the kind that the world feels like a better place because you have been blessed with this special connection. They may or may not love you back the same way, but when they do, it’s magical.
A mother’s love for her child isn’t romantic love, but it can definitely be unconditional love. Actress Debbie Reynolds and her daughter, Carrie Fisher were bonded so closely. when Carrie died suddenly, Debbie died just days later.
The need to love and protect your child, and the urge to be with them as in the love of a mother for her daughter is definitely, a true love.
Romantic love often doesn’t make any sense. Oftentimes there’s no logic to the one we fall in love with.
Love is a sort of involuntary submission — one you joyfully enter even when it doesn’t seem to make any sense.
For example, you see just a glimpse of someone and “fall in love” at first sight. Mostly, these are feelings of lust, not love, but I know more than one couple who really did meet and knew right then and there this was their “one true love” for life.
For most people though, genuine love takes time to develop. Before you can fall in love with someone you have to know them or you have no basis in fact to love them other than perhaps, their looks.
A true love relationship has to be mutual and lasting even when the relationship hits a rough patch. All relationships no matter how wonderful, do.
There’s a reason wedding vows include: “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death part us.”
The Benefits of Love:
In the iconic movie “Love Story” the catchphrase is: “Love means never having to say your’re sorry.”
You don’t stop loving that person even if they have irritated or disappointed you. The negatives are just a minor percentage of all the good things they are.
Two people who truly love one another are individuals but they are two parts of a whole. They’re visibly in sync with one another in their body language.
They are individuals but together they’re a strong, unbreakable unit.
Love is Selfless:
You wish for their well being and happiness as much or more than your own.
Selfless love isn’t always romantic. For example, religious figures such as Mother Teresa had a sort of selfless love for others.
We are not all saints, but when it comes to real love, you would gladly make a sacrifice for that person because it is important to them, even if there is nothing at all in it for you.
Your Love Story?
What’s your love story? Please share it in our comments section or on our social media tag #advicesisterslove.